So I chose to wear the pants that rub against them the most.
That is all.
Also. 147 this morning. It could be worse.
I'm tired.
Control starts again today, but even stricter.
One more thing. Supersize vs. Superskinny has me hooked. Haha My roommie was watching it with me and I made everything sound completely normal. She thought it was really interesting, too.
It's soooo good. = ]
-----
So much for fucking control.
I'm pathetic and weak.
Also, I'm starting a forbidden list.
Besides non-vegan things this list is starting out with:
Non diet soda
Cereal
Oreos
and chips [with the exception of Baked lays. Im not ready for that yet.]
I'll add another every week I think.
I'm off to go purge.
------
7 PM
Another first.
I just purged blood.
I'm not too worried, I pretty sure its just a scratch. But it was definitely blood. I should be scared.
I'm just tried.
So tired. And shaking.
I'm going to take a nap.
146.6
-----
11:41 PM.
I just had a packet of Ramen Noodles, uncooked, with no seasoning.
Still about 380 cals.
FUCK.
ARGHFDKJSLGHR
I feel like puking. Again.
I have a paper I have to write. I'm running out of ways to procrastinate. lol
I feel disgusting and pathetic and just ugh.
I want to cry.
I'm so weak. So pathetic. And most of all, fat.
This is NOT okay.
Also. 147 this morning. It could be worse.
I'm tired.
One more thing. Supersize vs. Superskinny has me hooked. Haha My roommie was watching it with me and I made everything sound completely normal. She thought it was really interesting, too.
It's soooo good. = ]
-----
So much for fucking control.
I'm pathetic and weak.
Also, I'm starting a forbidden list.
Besides non-vegan things this list is starting out with:
Non diet soda
Cereal
Oreos
and chips [with the exception of Baked lays. Im not ready for that yet.]
I'll add another every week I think.
I'm off to go purge.
------
7 PM
Another first.
I just purged blood.
I'm not too worried, I pretty sure its just a scratch. But it was definitely blood. I should be scared.
I'm just tried.
So tired. And shaking.
I'm going to take a nap.
146.6
-----
11:41 PM.
I just had a packet of Ramen Noodles, uncooked, with no seasoning.
Still about 380 cals.
FUCK.
ARGHFDKJSLGHR
I feel like puking. Again.
I have a paper I have to write. I'm running out of ways to procrastinate. lol
I feel disgusting and pathetic and just ugh.
I want to cry.
I'm so weak. So pathetic. And most of all, fat.
This is NOT okay.
I don't think diet soda is too bad, I gave up alcohol so diet soda's what gets me through the night when I'm out clubbing; wayyy less calories, but I've also given up oreos, was so hard but worth it in the end.
ReplyDelete"THE DIFFICULTIES AND STRUGGLES OF TODAY ARE BUT THE PRICE WE MUST PAY FOR THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND VICTORIES OF TOMORROW"
DIET soda is fine, just not regular. Hah =]
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh I'm such an idot! I didn't read the 'non' part, my bad!
ReplyDelete