Drained. [Triggering LilyZara! With some thinspo]

LILY! STOP! I want you to recover, and I'm afraid this might hinder your progress. Go away. Its because I love you. I would have blocked you if I knew how.

I told someone.
I'm trying to get him to understand, but its soooo hard. He doesnt understand that half of what he says is offensive, and Im trying not to be mad. He doesnt know any better. Im trying to get him to understand. But jeeze, I just feel drained.
I DONT WANT HELP. I just want someone I know to know. I want someone to know how much Im hurting. I want someone I can vent all my frustrations to.
I do NOT want them to judge, and I do NOT want to stop. I'm still much too fat.

Fuck. Im repulsive. Disgusting. My hips hurt. I hurt. Not enough. 

I should hurt more. I want bruises to match how I feel. 

Fuckkkk. I want to cut soooo bad. ARGH. SOOOOO BAD. 

God, Im disgusting. "Sleeping" through lunch tomorrow [like I could sleep] and a salad for dinner. 

I will be pretty. I will be thin. 

I wanted to be 140 by the end of spring break. FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE. 

I'm never gonna fit into my dress at this rate.

Fuck prom. Jockomo probably wont ask me anyway.

I dont even want to go anymore. 

I'm not tired. I should be. I had 4 hours of sleep, and its 6 AM. Oh well. 

I want to cut soooo bad. ARGH. [But I won't no worries.] Why didnt I make more bracelets when I had the chance?!

Speaking of pretty and thin, I think I'll just chill there for a while. Maybe post a bunch of thinspo? I dont know. I want something that will make me feel better and worse at the same time.
PT here I come!

I'll probably post more later today.