Monday, April 11, 2011

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry.

You dont know how lovely you are. I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart. Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions, lets go back to the start.

I don't know how I feel right now.
I was feeling better earlier today, so I wore my romper without leggings.
Ughhhh. HUGE self esteem hit. Not doing THAT again anytime soon. Blah.

I got to work with the really hot guy in my religion class today. We did group stuff and I just tried not to stare. We talked once, and it turns out he loves my favorite books series, too. = ] He has a girlfriend, and WAY too hot for me though.

My weight is ridiculous. I can't even think about it right now, much less post it.
Had a huge lunch binge today. Purged a little more than half of it.
Salad for dinner.

I'm on my fucking period. Fuck. And I'm broke. So I used my money to do laundry to buy tampons instead. Ugh.

Ugh.
Just kidding. I know how I feel. I feel the same. Terrible.
waitwaitwaitwait.

I can't swim. It's flood season. The river is pretty high. Mhmmm.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Wait.

I need to escape to somewhere. I need to run. I need to do something.
I need to get out.

It's not getting easier. It's a lie. Everything is a lie. I'm lied to all the fucking time and I'm so fucking sick of it. It doesn't get better. It gets worse.
I can't handle this. I can't do it.

Nap. Napping makes everything better.
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Nap helped a little.
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11:56

I think I need to fast again. Maybe then I won't feel like a fat fuck, and then I wont be so depressed. Hm.
Soon? yes. 

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