Ive been eating too much.
Tisk tisk.
CONCERT IS IN LESS THAN 3 DAYS.
Im [hopefully] getting my next tattoo tomorrow morningggg. = ]
Im sore from working out. Like my back is just... ugh.
I had today off, so I read a bunch and played video games with my brother.
I finished the book "Feeling for Bones." It was okay. I still prefer Wintergirls. I have to read Wasted yet, but my library doesnt have a copy of it and such so I have to request it. LAME.
Im attempting to download a game. We'll see if it works. It better. I dont wanna wait an hour.
My life is boring.
Oh. My family decided they wanted to go to the KFC buffet for dinner tonight.
Disgusting.
Absolutely repulsive.
I'm so glad I'm vegan.
Not only did they have like, a whole slaughterhouse/chicken coop in a heater in the back, all the shit looked repulsive. You could see all their tiny bones. Really? I dont understand how people eat that.
SO All I had there was some corn, green beans, and a few pickles.
Then my mom bought me some potato fry stuff, and I looked through the nutritional info for "vegan" purposes, and they were 230 cals. I shared them with my brother.
It's the fucking peanut butter sandwich that killed me. JDSLAHJFLD
God damn it. Why is peanut butter so high calorie? DAMN IT.
-----
I decided to weigh myself tonight.
Bad idea.
Good idea.
I dont know.
Im about to fucking cry.
I am crying.
Im just so fucking mad and disappointed with myself.
Im very upset.
One hundred and sixty three fucking pounds.
163.0.
Such a round, fat number, dont you think?
I couldnt realize why ive felt so fucking fat these last couple of days. I thought it was just getting close to that time of the month or something.
The way my thighs jiggled when I work something above the knee.
The way my arms bulged.
The way my pants dug into my skin. The dreaded muffin top.
The way my torso just looked short and fat.
But worst of all: my face.
Looks fucking huge. My cheeks look massive. I cant see my jawline very well. I have no cheekbones. Fat fucking cheeks. No definition. Just fat fucking globs of fat mushy SHIT.
My collar bone doesnt stick out enough. Or like, at all.
Nope. No tattoo tomorrow.
No eating tomorrow.
1.5 hours of working out. Plus the walking im going to be doing.
I'm not getting that tattoo until I get back down to 149.9.
I'm not going to go get my hair or eyebrows done until 139.9.
I'm done. I'm done fucking around. Im sick of fucking eating.
Tomorrow:
Wake up at noon.
Take appetite suppressant.
Work out [1 workout video, learn the next one, then do that one, then stretching, so 1 hr 45 min? Burning [estimated] 1800 cals.Prolly less because Im a fat fuckup who cant do anything right]
Maybe do some sit ups/pushups
prolly go on PT.
Go to work- Walk there, walk back to my house to pick up my trombone for rehearsal, go to practice, walk back to work, then maybe walk home.
Take more appetite suppressant.
More PT.
Bed.
Then repeat.
I'm not eating at all tomorrow. I swear. Prolly not eating saturday either.
Sorry this was so negative.
Take care.
Tisk tisk.
CONCERT IS IN LESS THAN 3 DAYS.
Im [hopefully] getting my next tattoo tomorrow morningggg. = ]
Im sore from working out. Like my back is just... ugh.
I had today off, so I read a bunch and played video games with my brother.
I finished the book "Feeling for Bones." It was okay. I still prefer Wintergirls. I have to read Wasted yet, but my library doesnt have a copy of it and such so I have to request it. LAME.
Im attempting to download a game. We'll see if it works. It better. I dont wanna wait an hour.
My life is boring.
Oh. My family decided they wanted to go to the KFC buffet for dinner tonight.
Disgusting.
Absolutely repulsive.
I'm so glad I'm vegan.
Not only did they have like, a whole slaughterhouse/chicken coop in a heater in the back, all the shit looked repulsive. You could see all their tiny bones. Really? I dont understand how people eat that.
SO All I had there was some corn, green beans, and a few pickles.
Then my mom bought me some potato fry stuff, and I looked through the nutritional info for "vegan" purposes, and they were 230 cals. I shared them with my brother.
It's the fucking peanut butter sandwich that killed me. JDSLAHJFLD
God damn it. Why is peanut butter so high calorie? DAMN IT.
-----
I decided to weigh myself tonight.
Bad idea.
Good idea.
I dont know.
Im about to fucking cry.
I am crying.
Im just so fucking mad and disappointed with myself.
Im very upset.
One hundred and sixty three fucking pounds.
163.0.
Such a round, fat number, dont you think?
I couldnt realize why ive felt so fucking fat these last couple of days. I thought it was just getting close to that time of the month or something.
The way my thighs jiggled when I work something above the knee.
The way my arms bulged.
The way my pants dug into my skin. The dreaded muffin top.
The way my torso just looked short and fat.
But worst of all: my face.
Looks fucking huge. My cheeks look massive. I cant see my jawline very well. I have no cheekbones. Fat fucking cheeks. No definition. Just fat fucking globs of fat mushy SHIT.
My collar bone doesnt stick out enough. Or like, at all.
Nope. No tattoo tomorrow.
No eating tomorrow.
1.5 hours of working out. Plus the walking im going to be doing.
I'm not getting that tattoo until I get back down to 149.9.
I'm not going to go get my hair or eyebrows done until 139.9.
I'm done. I'm done fucking around. Im sick of fucking eating.
Tomorrow:
Wake up at noon.
Take appetite suppressant.
Work out [1 workout video, learn the next one, then do that one, then stretching, so 1 hr 45 min? Burning [estimated] 1800 cals.Prolly less because Im a fat fuckup who cant do anything right]
Maybe do some sit ups/pushups
prolly go on PT.
Go to work- Walk there, walk back to my house to pick up my trombone for rehearsal, go to practice, walk back to work, then maybe walk home.
Take more appetite suppressant.
More PT.
Bed.
Then repeat.
I'm not eating at all tomorrow. I swear. Prolly not eating saturday either.
Sorry this was so negative.
Take care.
No comments:
Post a Comment