The Itch of Gluttony

Woke up at 6:30. Got ready for work.
Cut pastries for 3 hours. Ate a ridiculous amount.
Washed giant soup kettles for another hour and a half.
Ate a wrap and a bowl of pasta.
Went to class: Class was cancelled. Read half of my philosophy text instead.
Went to philosophy.
Came home and talked to Jordan about bartending school for an hour.
Went on PT.
Went to dinner. Ate chips and pasta and another wrap. Didn't drink enough liquids. Purged/showered. [I only purge in the shower.]
Painted my toes and fingernails. Pink and blue respectively.
Went on PT.
Updated blog.

I purge in the shower because in a dorm setting, we use public bathrooms. I don't have my own. I can't be private in there. When I have to shit, I wait until like, 3AM so I'm alone. So, I purge in the shower. The problem with THAT however, is the drain. I have to mash up everything I eat so it fits down the drain. I have to sit in my knees. IN A PUBLIC SHOWER to do this. It's so degrading. = [

There is a new guy in our group. He doesn't eat lunch. For dinner, he has a small plate of fries or something. He only drinks diet soda- with a love of diet coke. He smokes. He says he's lost 40 lbs. Red flag? I think so. I'm trying to find ways to bring it up to him, most likely in the guise of me confiding my ED to him. It would just be soooo nice to have someone right there with me, you know?

PHILOSOPHICAL WISDOM:
From the Confessions of Saint Augustine:
"Time and time again I force my body to obey me, but the pain which this causes me is cancelled by the pleasure of eating and drinking...
"Moreover, health and enjoyment have not the same requirements, for what is sufficient for health is not enough for enjoyment, and it is often hard to tell whether the body, which must be cared for, requires further nourishment, or whether we are being deceived by the allurements of greed demanding to be gratified. My unhappy soul welcomes this uncertainty, using it to vindicate and excuse itself. It is glad that the proper requirements of health are in doubt, so that under the pretense of caring for health it may disguise the pursuit of pleasure.
"Everyday I try my hardest to resist these temptations...
"I have also heard these words of yours [God's]: Do not follow the counsel of appetite. Turn your back on your own liking. [Ecclus. 18: 30] By your gift I have also heard and found great comfort in the words: We gain nothing by eating, lose nothing by abstaining.  [1 Cor. 8: 8] This means that eating will not bring me plenty nor abstinence reduce me to misery... I have also heard another of your servants begging for your gifts in these words: Let the itch of gluttony pass me by. [See 11 Cor. 10: 17]
" It is the uncleanliness of gluttony that I fear, not the uncleanliness of meat."

This surprised me because it not something I expected to see in a book called "A Passion for Wisdom: Readings in Western Philosophy on Love and Desire" for my Love and Sex class. And even more surprising, no one in class commented on it. Thought I would share. = ]

I might post later? We'll see.