I wish I didn't have boobs.

They're just giant sacs of fat. And I have to wear a bra all the time.
I feel soooo gross right now. My friend [Jordan] That I was watching Glee with, well... We ate an ENTIRE bag of baked lays in 40 mins. GROSS.
And I haven't purged all day. I'm afraid of the scale.
Like, a lot. I'm afraid the number will be 157. OR HIGHER. And thats not possible.
I have to be 140 by the 28th. It's the 4th. I'm running out of time. I can't afford setbacks.

Every week I tell myself I'll start over on Monday. Then Monday rolls around and I have lunch. A big one. Then I have a big dinner.
Every week I tell myself I'll only eat dinner. Just a salad, and then go purge. And I'll go to the gym every night.
I haven't done this ONCE.
That needs to change.

I'm already a fuck up. I'm just making it worse. I feel like a laughing stock. I just want to die.
I want people to ask if I'm okay. I want to be able to tell someone I have an ED and I want them to believe it just by looking at me.
My goals are reasonable. WHY CAN'T I DO THIS.

I'm so FUCKING weak.
WEAK.