I ate a 200 cals of baby carrots this morning. Thats a lot of fucking carrots.
My tummy still hurts 6 hours later. I couldnt figure out what it was at first. Then I realized.
Oh yeah. Its my body trying to digest food.
ugh.
I already feel like today has been a fail day.
Its only 3 pm. But I know im probably gonna binge/purge later tonight.
Damn it damn it damn it.
It was nice out today. My mom had me take pics of her for facebook. Shes terribly unphotogenic.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/smengvall/5734220983/
On another note, my friend posted a few pics of me from when we were drunk at a party.
I really like my hair in this one. = ] Hahah but we [Me and my BFF jordan [jojo]] look ridiculous.
Maybe more later.
----------
Later.
Fuck.
Purged.
Sorry.
I was supposed to be cutting back, but after today... Fuck.
Mom: Pig.
Freshman 15? More like summer 15. You're going to have to go back to college just so you can lose all that weight again.
Piggy.
Little sister: Are you sure you want to be wearing shorts this summer?
Move over, fatass.
Me [gettind pissed after endless comments on my weight]: My BMI is normal. Which is more than any of YOU can say.
Little sister: But is it still? And for how long?
Little brother: You're like TWO of me.
Fuckfuckfuckfuck.
I haven't even GAINED any weight after finals!
Im at this goddamn plateau again.
Freaking out again.
Over weight.
Over school.
Over life.
I dont want to be here.
I dont want.
To be.
Here.
Existing. Fuck. I hate everything right now.
Fasting tomorrow.
Also. I've started binding.
I hate my chest. So I'll bind it down as much as I can.
I havent lost anything.
I saw Dolly [the oh-so-perfect in every way girl who made my life a living hell] yesterday.
The first thing she did was give me a hug and said I looked great.
I don't know when she stopped hating me.
I dont know what happened.
Maybe she finally realized that I didnt do ANYTHING.
Fasting tomorrow. Mayvbe friday. I dont know.
MAYBE fasting.
Im a fucking weak bitch so we'll see what happens.
My tummy still hurts 6 hours later. I couldnt figure out what it was at first. Then I realized.
Oh yeah. Its my body trying to digest food.
ugh.
I already feel like today has been a fail day.
Its only 3 pm. But I know im probably gonna binge/purge later tonight.
Damn it damn it damn it.
It was nice out today. My mom had me take pics of her for facebook. Shes terribly unphotogenic.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/smengvall/5734220983/
On another note, my friend posted a few pics of me from when we were drunk at a party.
I really like my hair in this one. = ] Hahah but we [Me and my BFF jordan [jojo]] look ridiculous.
Maybe more later.
----------
Later.
Fuck.
Purged.
Sorry.
I was supposed to be cutting back, but after today... Fuck.
Mom: Pig.
Freshman 15? More like summer 15. You're going to have to go back to college just so you can lose all that weight again.
Piggy.
Little sister: Are you sure you want to be wearing shorts this summer?
Move over, fatass.
Me [gettind pissed after endless comments on my weight]: My BMI is normal. Which is more than any of YOU can say.
Little sister: But is it still? And for how long?
Little brother: You're like TWO of me.
Fuckfuckfuckfuck.
I haven't even GAINED any weight after finals!
Im at this goddamn plateau again.
Freaking out again.
Over weight.
Over school.
Over life.
I dont want to be here.
I dont want.
To be.
Here.
Existing. Fuck. I hate everything right now.
Fasting tomorrow.
Also. I've started binding.
I hate my chest. So I'll bind it down as much as I can.
I havent lost anything.
I saw Dolly [the oh-so-perfect in every way girl who made my life a living hell] yesterday.
The first thing she did was give me a hug and said I looked great.
I don't know when she stopped hating me.
I dont know what happened.
Maybe she finally realized that I didnt do ANYTHING.
Fasting tomorrow. Mayvbe friday. I dont know.
MAYBE fasting.
Im a fucking weak bitch so we'll see what happens.
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