Trigger trigger trigger.

I was asked the other day to identify what triggers me.

I dont know. Girls who are skinnier. Thinspo. My clothes not fitting. Looking terrible.

I dont know.

But something has triggered me.

I need to fast. Its not like I've been eating a lot, but its too much all the same.

I'm hungry, but I dont want to eat. I dont want to eat ever again.

But ughh, it hurts. My tummy hurts, my head hurts, my soul hurts. I know eating would make me feel better, but I just dont want to.

The things I would give to be 137 again. I'm down to 173. Gross gross gross. I feel disgusting and ashamed just thinking  about that number.

Goals. 165 by halloween, 155 by thanksgiving.

137 137 137. How did I fuck up so bad?

My  legs are huge. My calves are massive. My arms are all flabby. I'M all flabby!

My clothes dont fit. I'm too heavy.

too heavy