Long story short, phil is an ass. I should have realized, I should have been less naive. Stupid, silly girl.
I'm falling for someone else, and phil is pissed. I haven't heard from him in two weeks. Fine then, be that way.
But I can't do this again. I can't let myself feel again. I can't get hurt again. Hes got a family, a fiancee, a 3 month old daughter. I'm not going to break up a family. If it comes to me or his family, I won't let him choose me.
I can't do this. I dont deserve it. I dont deserve to be happy, or to have someone so nice to me. I deserve someone awful.
Why won't my body and my soul listen to my brain? I'm just confused and hurt and I ache.
My whole body hurts from working out. My throat hurts from purging. My stomach aches from not eating.
I dont deserve his compliments. I'm a potato. A dog.
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