I lost my best friend.

"Nobody said it was easy.
Its such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start."

I hurt so bad. And I'm all alone. And I have to act like I dont care.
And its just so fucking hard.

I want to go back. Beg for forgiveness. Tell him I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I miss him so much.

I've lost my best friend.

I can't sleep.
I can't eat.

And everytime he texts me, it just hurts. Because I'm trying all the time not to text him, and its okay if I dont think about it. I'm okay. But when I do its just like my heart is breaking. Ripped into pieces. Shredded.

And it hurts.
So bad.
Fuck.

This is why I hate relationships.
This is why I should just be alone.

Then theres no hurt. No heartbreak.

I keep remembering when he begged me to take it back. Take back everything he said. And I just shook my head.

God, I miss him so much.
And knowing hes hurting as bad as I am makes it worse.
Knowing that he wants to take everything back just kills me.

I'm so tired. And I ache all over.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.  its killing me. I hurt so bad and I know you could make it all better if you were here.

What have I done. I love you so much. You were my best  friend, and now we can't even talk.

I can't even think about it.

I'm numb. I dont think about anything. Then I dont hurt so bad.

I can't talk to anyone. I dont have anyone to talk to. I'm alone.
And I know you are too.

I dont want to be with anyone else. I know you think I do, but I dont. I just want you.

But it can't happen. We can't be together.