If the world were ending would you kiss me or just leave me?

PANIC AT THE DISCO. SOON. AHHHHH Im so excited. = ]]]]]

Wouldn't it be crazy if we lived in a world where eating disorders were accepted?
"Oh hey, Want to go on a date? Awesome. How does dinner sound? Oh, you're anorexic? No big, what about a movie?"
"Ohhh You have to purge? Yeah, sure, you may be excused. The bathroom is three doors down and on the left. Do you want us to wait to start the movie?"
"I'm gonna make a cake, do you want any? No? Do you want to help make it?"
"Hey, I'm going to the grocery store, do you need anything? Oh, so just diet coke then? Alright, I'll be back soon."
"Wanna go get a salad? Oh, youre fasting? That's cool. Do you want me to grab you a water?"
"Hey, it's just me. You passed out. Here. Have a bit of juice. It's diet, don't worry."

Instead it goes more like this [if you were to say anything at all]
"Oh hey, want to go on a date? Awesome how does dinner sound? Ohhhh.... Uhm. Well, some other time then maybe."
"You've been in the bathroom for a while, is everything okay?"
"I'm gonna make a cake. Do you want two pieces or three?"
"I'm going to the store. How does pizza sound for dinner?"
"Oh my fucking god. Eat a fucking sandwich."
"LYKE OMGZ. YOU PASSED OUT. YOU NEED TO EAT SOMETHING."

Sigh. If only.

I'm gonna start setting my posts so they post at 11:59. Then at least you know I'm done adding to it.
I am going to fast next week. Monday through thursday I think. I need a binge week.

I've noticed my ED goes in cycles.
Fast/heavy restricting.
Binge/purge
HEAVY binge/normal eating/some purging.
Light binge/purge.
Restrict
Fast.

Hm. Interesting.

You guys don't know a lot about me.
My name is Sylvia. Some people call me Sylvie as a nickname. A lot of people on PT call me zombie.
I am 18. I have an older sister [20] A younger sister [17] and a younger brother [8].
I play trombone and I have a lovehate relationship with it.
My parents are divorced. I live with my mom, who is really poor. We lived on welfare for a while, so I always get really mad when people say that everyone abuses it. My mom smokes, so all my stuff smells like smoke.
My old house is a complete shithole. I go over there a lot to clean it.
Everyone in my family is overweight, obese, or morbidly obese. [Except me, who is just barely average]

I love music except country.
I dont really have a favorite band, but I have a bunch. Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance, The Beatles, Mika, Savatage, and Lady Gaga. I love swing. = ]

I love line dried laundry. = ] Hum hm hum. I dont knwo what else for now.
I'm really good at faking happy. I laugh all the time, and at pretty much everything. This is the only place I let my depression show.

I miss how things used to be.
----
11:24

I ate THREE MEALS today.
Blahhhhh. Purged dinner.
Ate peanut butter.
Might have a sandwich.

I HATE BEING A WOMAN.
I want my periods to stop and I want to be an A or B cup.

DSKF:LH
God damn it.

I'm weak. I'm fat. I'm pathetic. I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope it raises my metabolism.
Hoping hoping hoping.

This is ridiculous. UGH.
I feel disgusting.

Fasting next monday tuesday weds thurs.
Dinner only tomorrow [purged].
Dinner only thurs. [purged]
Dinner only friday. We are going out to eat maybe so I dont know what I'm going to with that.

Ughhhhhh. I just need to go home. Where I can starve in peace.

I want a diet coke.