I broke my fast.
6 COMPLETE days. On to the 7th.
SO FUCKING CLOSE.
But I'm too fucking weak and useless. I have no self control.
Oh. You know what I broke it with? Hah.
Oreos. And Peanut Butter. And Pizza.
All the most TERRIBLE things to purge. [Even though I didn't purge. Not really.]
So Uhm. Last night. Let's see.
We didn't go party. We just partied in my dorm room.
Binged, drank, binge drank, watched a movie. Blah.
The guy I worked with came over.
Hah, this is a good story.
He came over and we were sitting on my bed because the futon was full of people and we were watching a movie. He had his arm around me. It was nice.
I found out he is a sophomore. I thought it was strange because he seemed young. Oh well, I though he was gay too. Nope.
Anyway, he was pretty handsy. I didnt really mind, except for the fact that I just binged and wanted to puke. Oh well. [I found out later that my tummy didn't feel as flabby as I thought I guess.]
He was handsy sexually, which wasn't bad because he knew what he was doing, but this is the strange part.
He kept going over my bones.
Like, the ones I go over. Like, he kept rubbing my hip bones [my favorite to feel] and my collar bones and my ribs. It was kinda strange.
And he gave me a nice back rub. = ]
Anyway he was just very sweet the whole time. He was playing with my hair, and he kissed my hair and my neck. It was cute. = ]
We didn't end up having sex because there were a lot of people in the room. He had a good size dick. :D I would have. Damn. Oh well. Maybe tonight? We'll see.
He left and I went and showered and ended up puking of course.
Fasting + Alcohol + Pizza + Peanut Butter + Oreos = Vomit. DUH. Obviously. They were too complex for my body to handle.
Fuck you body. Salad and soup tonight.
137.6 this morning.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I'll take it. I know it's accurate because I triple checked it. Hum..
But I've had like, 5 oreos already and a little tiny bit of peanut butter. And half a bottle of diet coke.
Blah.
ELLE. GOD I HATE HER SO MUCH. Go away. I hate you. Get out of my life. Leave me alone.
She just came in and asked to borrow a pair of black leggings.
They wouldn't fit your fat ass. Get out.
I told her they were dirty.
SHE STILL HAS MY FAVORITE BLACK TANK TOP.
And she's only used a bunch of my hemp and nail polish remover.
Mooch. Go away. Go eat something.
Prom tonight.
I don't know if the dress will fit.
KFHLSDHFBL
I don't like PT's new swan water thing.
I DON'T LIKE CHANGE.
JUST STAY THE SAME, GOD DAMN IT.
I just did measurements.
Thigh: 22 1/4
Waist: 28
Hips 34.5.
Arms: 11.5
Disgusting.
-----------
IT FITS.
MY PROM DRESS FUCKING FITS.
AHHHHHHH IM SO GODDAMN HAPPY.
Anyway, ate too much dinner, purged.
Went to half of a drumming thing.
Now I'm going to get ready, eat a sandwich, drink and party.
I am 140.2 right now. [Blah] BUT. It's still at the goal I set. = ]
6 COMPLETE days. On to the 7th.
SO FUCKING CLOSE.
But I'm too fucking weak and useless. I have no self control.
Oh. You know what I broke it with? Hah.
Oreos. And Peanut Butter. And Pizza.
All the most TERRIBLE things to purge. [Even though I didn't purge. Not really.]
So Uhm. Last night. Let's see.
We didn't go party. We just partied in my dorm room.
Binged, drank, binge drank, watched a movie. Blah.
The guy I worked with came over.
Hah, this is a good story.
He came over and we were sitting on my bed because the futon was full of people and we were watching a movie. He had his arm around me. It was nice.
I found out he is a sophomore. I thought it was strange because he seemed young. Oh well, I though he was gay too. Nope.
Anyway, he was pretty handsy. I didnt really mind, except for the fact that I just binged and wanted to puke. Oh well. [I found out later that my tummy didn't feel as flabby as I thought I guess.]
He was handsy sexually, which wasn't bad because he knew what he was doing, but this is the strange part.
He kept going over my bones.
Like, the ones I go over. Like, he kept rubbing my hip bones [my favorite to feel] and my collar bones and my ribs. It was kinda strange.
And he gave me a nice back rub. = ]
Anyway he was just very sweet the whole time. He was playing with my hair, and he kissed my hair and my neck. It was cute. = ]
We didn't end up having sex because there were a lot of people in the room. He had a good size dick. :D I would have. Damn. Oh well. Maybe tonight? We'll see.
He left and I went and showered and ended up puking of course.
Fasting + Alcohol + Pizza + Peanut Butter + Oreos = Vomit. DUH. Obviously. They were too complex for my body to handle.
Fuck you body. Salad and soup tonight.
137.6 this morning.
WHAT THE FUCK?
I'll take it. I know it's accurate because I triple checked it. Hum..
But I've had like, 5 oreos already and a little tiny bit of peanut butter. And half a bottle of diet coke.
Blah.
ELLE. GOD I HATE HER SO MUCH. Go away. I hate you. Get out of my life. Leave me alone.
She just came in and asked to borrow a pair of black leggings.
They wouldn't fit your fat ass. Get out.
I told her they were dirty.
SHE STILL HAS MY FAVORITE BLACK TANK TOP.
And she's only used a bunch of my hemp and nail polish remover.
Mooch. Go away. Go eat something.
Prom tonight.
I don't know if the dress will fit.
KFHLSDHFBL
I don't like PT's new swan water thing.
I DON'T LIKE CHANGE.
JUST STAY THE SAME, GOD DAMN IT.
I just did measurements.
Thigh: 22 1/4
Waist: 28
Hips 34.5.
Arms: 11.5
Disgusting.
-----------
IT FITS.
MY PROM DRESS FUCKING FITS.
AHHHHHHH IM SO GODDAMN HAPPY.
Anyway, ate too much dinner, purged.
Went to half of a drumming thing.
Now I'm going to get ready, eat a sandwich, drink and party.
I am 140.2 right now. [Blah] BUT. It's still at the goal I set. = ]
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