Wednesday, January 29, 2014

An update: this should have posted a week ago.

School is slowly killing me. 

I feel like I'm regressing to the state I was in a few years ago. Some days are easy, some not so easy. It's a not so easy week. 

I'm just tired. I'm always tired. My back is killing me like hella. It's this scoliosis junk. I should see a chiropractor. I should be doing homework that's due in two hours. But like usual I'm not going to do it until after it's due and I'll continue to drown in this mountain of burdens. 

I started my blog February, 2011, after a particularly hard break up. Since then, my low weight has been 140.2, my high weight has been 188, but averages around 163. I've been suicidal, I've self harmed, I've purged blood, I've pulled until I had a nosebleed. 
I've been in three steady relationships since then. I dropped out of college, I've reenrolled in college, I've moved in with a boyfriend, I had a different one move in with me. 

Right now, I just got back from a cruise to the Bahamas. I've been saving for this for a year now. We flew from Minnesota to New Orleans, then took off and spent a day in the Florida keys, Nassau, and another day on a private Caribbean island. It was a nice break. It wasn't so much as getting a break though it was more like pausing my life for a week, fast forwarding to summer, then jumping back to the sub zero Minnesota winter. 

Anyway, to update:
I am sylvia. I am 21 years old and a vegetarian. I blog a lot. I work at a place where we manufacture atv/UTV roofs and doors for places like John Deere, Polaris, and arcticat. I make cupcakes for everyone's birthdays. I work the third shift (11 pm to 7 am) and I work six days a week. I make 13.27/hr, which is a lot better than the 9 I was making in fast food. I have class 3 days a week from 6 to 10 pm.
I have 7 tattoos; one on each collarbone, one on my shoulder, one on each foot, one on the back of my neck, and one on my arm. 

I've been dating a man, Sean, for more than a year now. He is 28 next month and I love him. He wants to get engaged before the end of this year. He's not a child like all the other men I've dated. We're moving in together later in the spring. I would marry him if he asked me to. I think I'm ready for it. We wouldn't get married until 2015, so I would be 23, and my mom pretty much stopped having kids by then. 

I'm like an adult and junk now, and I'm finally getting my life together. 

Some days it's harder than other, and some days it's not so hard. 

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