My phone synced with something and added a bunch of pictures from my blogger, so I was looking through them and oh boy.
I thought I was triggered before.
It had a bunch of thinspo on there, but more importantly, pictures of me at my low weight. Good ones.
Ugh oh my god that was thirty lbs ago and I would literally kill for that. And in those I'm wearing the bracelets I wore when I cut a lot.
So thats triggering too. I'm thinking about making new ones.
I haven't purged in like two months, but holy shit I forgot how badly I wanted this. How bad I need this.
I want to push everyone away from me. I want an apartment I dont have to share. But I need a car first. Ugh seriously I'm.21 in like two months and I still have no car. Woooow.
I'm stuck at the same weight I always get stuck on. Its so frustrating.
I miss the way my jeans didn't dig into my fat. I miss how loose they would get.
Fuck I need to pull myself together.
