Friday, October 21, 2011

Im so fucking fat im about to literally cry.

Imma go die in a hole now. And not eat.

Salad with family tomorrow.
Then nothing.
And nothing.
And nothing.

I'm so sick of this shit. I'm fucking sick.
I feel sick.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

I wanna go jump off a bridge. But I know I wont.
We'll see how I feel next week.
We'll see how much of a fucking failure I am then.

I hate myself so much.
I just want everything to stop.
Just. Stop it.

I want time to stop moving. I want life to be easy again.

I want to be loved.
I want to be able to feel pretty.
I want to feel like I deserve something.
I want to feel proud of myself.
I want to feel like I don't have to try so hard.

I just want to feel.
I want to feel something other than this sick, crippling depression. 

I dont want to talk to anyone.
I don't want to leave the house.
I don't want to stay here.

I'm so sick of being a failure. I want to accomplish something. I want to make a difference.

I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
Never have to face the next day. Never have to think.

Just. Sleep.
Forever.

Wouldn't that be great?

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