Sunday, October 30, 2011

Against my better judgement...

I weighed myself. I ate normally today, but it just proves that eating normally will lead to gain.

159.8.

I cried.
Then cut.
Then cried a bit more.

I WILL fast tomorrow. 
This is ridiculous.
Hopefully the cuts will remind me to stop being a fat, pathetic, fucking failure.

Its no wonder no one wants me. I'm repulsive.

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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 30, 2011 at 5:35 AM

    this happen to me too...im so confused, why the other people can eat normaly and I dont?

    ok we are not alone ;)
    strong!***

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sam LupinOctober 30, 2011 at 6:57 AM

    ah, sweetheart, baby. <3
    we all feel repulsive, but you're probably not. if anything, it's amazing that you can eat like a normal person. i have two sides to me: BINGE/PURGE BY EXERCISE/VOMIT/DO NOTHING or RESTRICT/FAST. and those two parts don't agree with each other. i can't eat like a normal person at all. and if i try, i binge.

    <3
    <3
    don't be so hard on yourself, love. the scale is a cruel beast, but it also holds what we desire the most.

    -Sam Lupin

    ReplyDelete

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