I'll die for you, Ill die for you, I'll die for you. [More picture vomit]

Blogger is working again. 

Finally.
Christ.

I don't want a relationship with anyone.

They hurt too much.

Its not worth it.

I dont need it.

I can't do it.

I'm afraid.

I had a dream yesterday that has just been bugging me ever since. It was about my ex. Of course.

He wanted to get back together. Again. Kind of.

He was still with the bitch he is with now, but he said in the dream that he was confused, that he still loved me. We had sex. It wasn't hot sex, it was just sad. And the fact that he was cheating and didnt care bugged me. We went and had breakfast the morning after. We cuddled all night. It was terrible.

I dont knowww. It just bugs me.

5 months.

And it still hurts.

It hurts so much.

I want him back.

I never want to see him again.

I want to feel how his arms felt around me.

I want to forget.

I never want to forget.

Weight slowly climbing back down.

Quiet little voices creep into my head

I'm young again, I'm young again, I'm young again, I'm young again

Quiet little monsters creep into my bedroom wall..

Quiet words of wisdom creep into your victims ears.

I'll die for you, I'll die for you, I'll die for you..

[Quiet Little Voices, by We were Promised Jetpacks]

------

I ate way too much today. 

It was just a shitty day in general. 

[Drunk right now] 

I woke up too early because my sisters kidnapped me. 

Had an iced caramel coffee at the place I used to work [350 cals? 400? idk] 

Watched sailor moon with them for a few hours. AWESOME. I regret nothing. 

Went to work. Super busy. It was hell. 

Partying plans were cancelled. Drank alone. 

Havent eaten in a while, so it only took me a little bit to get drunk. As I am now. 

I had too many fries, a veggie burger, and an apple pie piece. 

Too many cals.
And I'll prolly binge in a bit. I want to stay drunk for a while. 

I was talking to my best friend last night. 

He isn;t going to my college next year. 

Long story short [because I dont really want to write much more], I'm not going back either. 

I'm going to a technical college that is $30,000/year cheaper. 

I'm really going to miss the people there. Like, a lot. 

Like, way too much. We'll still come back to visit. 

As of right now, we are planning to get an apartment together for the year at least, if not more. We found a really nice one that is about halfway between our colleges. 

Our colleges are a mile apart.
In the cities, its not bad. 

Anyway, I'm sorry. 

I feel bad. 

I dont want to leave everyone there, but the only reason I went there is because thats where my ex was going. 

He doesn't control my life anymore. 

Much. 

Picture timeeeee = ]

 Found via Got2Purge

Found via Gabby