Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh why can't I? [Picture vomit]

Dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Where troubles melt like lemon drop high above the chimney tops.

[Somewhere Over the Rainbow]

I grayed out in the shower the other day while I was getting back up and ended up falling into our soap holder thing. My shoulder is dark purple.

I may never sleep tonight as long as you're still burning bright.

Gracing your skin with the side of my hand.

If I ever leave, then I'll learn to miss you.

Let me save you, hold this rope.

I may never sleep tonight [never sleep tonight] as long as you're still burning bright.

I'll stay awake 'til I drink my mistakes 'til they fade away.

Deserted, my organs can go on without me.

So let me save you, hold this rope and I'll pull you in.

I am an anchor, sinking home.

[Trade Mistakes]

<3

Hum hum hum.

One month and 7 days until Panic! At the Disco concert.

I can't die until after that. Lol.

But I'll hold on hope and I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck,

And I'll find strength in pain and I'll change my ways.

Cause I need freedom now and I need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be.

[The Cave]

It's another one of those days.

What is the point? What is the point of everything? Of anything..?
Life, living, death dying work pain suffering happiness living.

I don't know.

I dont want to be here. I dont want to be alive.

I don't want to kill myself.

I just want to die.

Typical.

Typical lazy bitch can't do anything for herself.

Why can't I just be hit by a car crossing the street or something?

Or spontaneous combustion. That sounds good.

Lazy, selfish bitch.

I'm taking my drivers test tomorrow. Finally. I should have had that two years ago. More than.

Lazy stupid bitch.

I hate driving. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of killing someone.

Fuck. I can't do this. I dont know.

I feel lost and alone. I dont talk to anyone. No one wants to talk to me.

I'm okay with it.

Im not okay with it.

I love it.

I hate it.

I dont know.

Im a stupid bitch who doesnt know anything.

“You don't have my legs. Yours are too fat.”

“You need to go on a diet.”

“You need to lose weight.”

“Why do you eat so much?”

“Look at all that pudge.”

“Why can't you do something?”

“Lazy bitch.”

“Yeah. Right. Go eat everything, then just puke it all up.”

“You're never going to pass your test. Fuck!”

All things I have heard today.

By one person.

My lovely mother of course.

Parents are great.
They fuck you up pretty nicely.

I cant do this.
Im sick of this.

I need to get out.

I need to get away.

I need something. I dont know what.

I dont know anything.

Dumb bitch.

Move your body while the sunlight dies, everybody hide your body from the scarecrow.

We're all alone tonight.
Hold your breath while the blackbird flies, count to seventeen and close your eyes.

He burns my skin, never mind about the shape I'm in.

[S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W]

I'm losing touch with blogs. Sorry. I'm working on it. I read everyone's I follow, I swear. I just need time. 

Why did I start a blog? Why do I keep posting?
I dont know.

Is it for me? Let everything out, so I don't go insane?
Do I secretly hope someone will see it and save me from myself?
Do I want to be saved?

I dont know.

I dont know what I want.

I dont want this.

I dont want to be here.
I dont want to exist.

Also. I can't wear my bracelets at work.

My cuts haven't healed.
I'm freaking out.
I'm on the edge of an anxiety attack again. I can feel it coming.

Deep breaths.

Breathe.

Breathe.

I dont even know my own story.

Anxiety.
Fuck.

I want to die.