50 followers. WHOOP WHOOP!
Haha Im pretty lameeee. Yep yep yep.
Love<3, you KNOW you were my best lay. ;]
Hahahahaa anywayyyyy
Havent had said booty call yet. It'll happennnn. hopefully at least.
Then i was supposed to have a date with this one guy last night but he never said anything about it so whatevs. Hah.
I dont remember what I came on here to say.
So ill just ramble about my boring life.
I practiced today. Hah. Which i like, never do. Haha
I applied for the college im transferring to [better late than never right?]
I havent eaten today.
I ate too much yesterday [ a peanut butter sandwich, a bunch of grapes, some carrots and almost a whole bag of veggie chicken.] Didnt purge.
Purged the night before. Everything came up really easy. Like my body actually WANTED to get rid of it.
BTW, smoking after purging is just a bad idea. It just... burns. Ugh.
hm hum. Havent worked out yet. Going to do that soonish. I think.
I have a sticker ont he back of my phone that says "23. " I found it on a dress I wore the other day. I thought they meant that was the size of the dress and I freaked out.
Have you noticed? People are never happy with their age.
When you are a kid you always just wanna grow up.
middle school kids always wanna be in high school.
High school kids just wanna go to college.
In college, you just wanna move on to a regular, stable adult life. You know. Get married, have kids.
Then sometime around the kid stage shit reverses.
you wish you didnt have kids. You wish you were a newlywed. You could be in college and party all the time.
And so on.
I wish i could just skip forward in time. past all this [necessary] bullshit and just jump to a further point in my life.
Im pretty sure everyone does it to an extent, but when I was a kid I always imagined how I would be when I was older, and kind of idolized myself. Hah. Like I always imagined me in high school, as that wicked awesome babysitter. Blonde. Hot. Super long perfect legs. Vegan [just because it sounded cool, I didnt think about the actualtities of it then] and loving the earth and such.
Or when I went through my emo/goth/whatever stage I pictured myself with long dark brown hair living in a castle instead of going to college and reading dark magic and gaining eternal knowledge by candlelight, while wearing huge gothic, elegant dressed.
Hah.
Now I see myself in the future as normal I think.
I wish I was at a point in my life where I was married and with kids on the way. Like, I wish I could just skip forward to my wedding day. Haha. No decisions. No second guessing. Just... go.
College out of the way. A steady job. A house. Thin. No big deal. The normal.
Dont have to worry about the steps to get there. No second guessing. No anxiety.
How will I pay for a wedding?
How will I support a family?
Fuck that. How will I pay for COLLEGE?
Is college worth it?
Is this guy the one?
Am I wasting my time?
How will I pay for retirement?
Money money money.
Money can't buy you happiness.
Just peace of mind, which is pretty damn close.
I'm so shallow.
Anyway.
Its just been a few of those days. I just feel really SUPER disgusting and flabby and such. Its just... ick.
I want a fucking cookie.
Yep. I feel pretty gross.
The scale said 150.8. I dont know if I believe it. I feel too flabby and disgusting.
Food porn sounds pretty awesome. I might do that.
Nate was going to talk to a friend of ours today. He said it was something about a surprise for me, and that I shouldnt worry, I'll laugh.
I dont like surprises.
But I do.
I dont like the suspense of surprises. I always worry about what it is, if I'll like it, when to expect it... blah blah blah.
Im done ranting and freaking out.
Hope you are having a nice day.
Its supposed to be over 100 here on thursday.
Finally. Maybe then I wont be cold.
Are you still reading this? Did you get bored? Do you even care that much?
People always ask that in their blogs. Of course I read them. If I follow you, I care.
I just cant fathom why anyone would find my life interesting. Its strange for me.
So props to you if you're still reading.
Proud of you. Hah.
150.8.
Hum.
----
Edit.
Binging right now.
Its a fuckign weird binge.
It started because I literally DRANK caramel out of the bottle.
Then I moved on to some chocolate.
Then I had a little bit of ketchup [All straight from the bottle]
Then I heated some potatoes.
Not I'm working on half a box of noodles with vegan butter.
Gonna go purge, then hang out with nate. Prolly eat some [vegan] ice cream with him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDBDR4uZxek
Go listen to this song.
right now.
Haha Im pretty lameeee. Yep yep yep.
Love<3, you KNOW you were my best lay. ;]
Hahahahaa anywayyyyy
Havent had said booty call yet. It'll happennnn. hopefully at least.
Then i was supposed to have a date with this one guy last night but he never said anything about it so whatevs. Hah.
I dont remember what I came on here to say.
So ill just ramble about my boring life.
I practiced today. Hah. Which i like, never do. Haha
I applied for the college im transferring to [better late than never right?]
I havent eaten today.
I ate too much yesterday [ a peanut butter sandwich, a bunch of grapes, some carrots and almost a whole bag of veggie chicken.] Didnt purge.
Purged the night before. Everything came up really easy. Like my body actually WANTED to get rid of it.
BTW, smoking after purging is just a bad idea. It just... burns. Ugh.
hm hum. Havent worked out yet. Going to do that soonish. I think.
I have a sticker ont he back of my phone that says "23. " I found it on a dress I wore the other day. I thought they meant that was the size of the dress and I freaked out.
Have you noticed? People are never happy with their age.
When you are a kid you always just wanna grow up.
middle school kids always wanna be in high school.
High school kids just wanna go to college.
In college, you just wanna move on to a regular, stable adult life. You know. Get married, have kids.
Then sometime around the kid stage shit reverses.
you wish you didnt have kids. You wish you were a newlywed. You could be in college and party all the time.
And so on.
I wish i could just skip forward in time. past all this [necessary] bullshit and just jump to a further point in my life.
Im pretty sure everyone does it to an extent, but when I was a kid I always imagined how I would be when I was older, and kind of idolized myself. Hah. Like I always imagined me in high school, as that wicked awesome babysitter. Blonde. Hot. Super long perfect legs. Vegan [just because it sounded cool, I didnt think about the actualtities of it then] and loving the earth and such.
Or when I went through my emo/goth/whatever stage I pictured myself with long dark brown hair living in a castle instead of going to college and reading dark magic and gaining eternal knowledge by candlelight, while wearing huge gothic, elegant dressed.
Hah.
Now I see myself in the future as normal I think.
I wish I was at a point in my life where I was married and with kids on the way. Like, I wish I could just skip forward to my wedding day. Haha. No decisions. No second guessing. Just... go.
College out of the way. A steady job. A house. Thin. No big deal. The normal.
Dont have to worry about the steps to get there. No second guessing. No anxiety.
How will I pay for a wedding?
How will I support a family?
Fuck that. How will I pay for COLLEGE?
Is college worth it?
Is this guy the one?
Am I wasting my time?
How will I pay for retirement?
Money money money.
Money can't buy you happiness.
Just peace of mind, which is pretty damn close.
I'm so shallow.
Anyway.
Its just been a few of those days. I just feel really SUPER disgusting and flabby and such. Its just... ick.
Yep. I feel pretty gross.
The scale said 150.8. I dont know if I believe it. I feel too flabby and disgusting.
Food porn sounds pretty awesome. I might do that.
Nate was going to talk to a friend of ours today. He said it was something about a surprise for me, and that I shouldnt worry, I'll laugh.
I dont like surprises.
But I do.
I dont like the suspense of surprises. I always worry about what it is, if I'll like it, when to expect it... blah blah blah.
Im done ranting and freaking out.
Hope you are having a nice day.
Its supposed to be over 100 here on thursday.
Finally. Maybe then I wont be cold.
Are you still reading this? Did you get bored? Do you even care that much?
People always ask that in their blogs. Of course I read them. If I follow you, I care.
I just cant fathom why anyone would find my life interesting. Its strange for me.
So props to you if you're still reading.
Proud of you. Hah.
150.8.
Hum.
----
Edit.
Binging right now.
Its a fuckign weird binge.
It started because I literally DRANK caramel out of the bottle.
Then I moved on to some chocolate.
Then I had a little bit of ketchup [All straight from the bottle]
Then I heated some potatoes.
Not I'm working on half a box of noodles with vegan butter.
Gonna go purge, then hang out with nate. Prolly eat some [vegan] ice cream with him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDBDR4uZxek
Go listen to this song.
right now.
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